A new preacher had just begun his sermon.
He was a little nervous and about ten minutes into the talk his mind went blank.
He remembered some advice they gave him in seminary school for when a situation like this arose -- repeat your last point.
Often this will help you remember what should come next.
So he gave it a try.
"Behold, I come quickly," he said.
Still his mind was blank.
So he tried again, "Behold, I come quickly!"
Still nothing.
He tried once more, this time with so much vehemence that he tripped over his microphone wire and fell off the stage, right into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.
The young preacher was very embarrassed and tried to apologize, and the woman replied, "That's all right, young man. It was my fault...I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!"
Why the English Language is So Difficult
We polish the Polish furniture.He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
The dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
THE COMPUTER USER'S REBOOT POEM
Don't you wish when life is bad
and things just don't compute,
That all we really had to do
was stop and hit reboot?
Things would all turn out ok,
life could be so sweet
If we had those special keys
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete
Your boss is mad, your bills not paid,
your wife, well she's just mute
Just stop and hit those wonderful keys
that make it all reboot
You'd like to have another job
but you fear living in the street?
You solve it all and start a new,
Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.
Do you have a joke or humorous story to share?
You can Write to us!
Include your first initial and last name and put the word HUMOR in the subject.
We'll try to use your contribution in a future column.
(Please note that these columns are written several weeks in advance so publishing the humor will be delayed accordingly.)
